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It’s 5 am and there is someone crawling on my head.
The sun isn’t even awake yet and my alarm was turned off from the night before. Through one eye I realized my toddler was making herself comfortable.
“Mom, can I sleep with you?” she asks as she’s already laying on the rest of my pillow.
Why can’t I sleep in? Ever?
Staring at the ceiling and now stuck between two warm bodies I begin to sweat and it hits me. I have to pee.
I gingerly attempt to slide out of bed trying not to wake up anybody else.
“Ow, Ow, Ow….Sigh.” Why does every muscle hurt? I probably look like an elephant trying to turn around inside a telephone booth while not making any noise. Not pretty.
I spent the day before cleaning my bedroom. Every trace of dust was “Ha-cha’d” (my daughter’s expression for a karate chop) and the place was clean as a whistle. I haven’t done this much physical labor since….um….hmm, when WAS that?
It’s been 30 days since I quit my job and started my new adventure as a stay-at-home Mom.
Being in the corporate world since the age of 16, this is new season of life.
[box] I’m learning that being a stay-at-home Mom is not like a real job at all. [/box]
9 Reasons why being a Stay-At-Home Mom is NOT a real job:
9. Off-the-clock. A real job ends somewhere between 8-10 hours a day. Your boss doesn’t follow you home and demand to be carried 5 steps from the car to the house or lay on your head at 5am. Or yell at you from across the hall because they are “thirsty” at 3am.
8. Personal space. In the office, you typically at least have a cubicle. I shared and office with two other women and we each had our corner. Now I’m lucky if I can reach my keyboard without a “helper” – let’s not even mention the bathroom.
7. Respect. As a Manager, your employees respect you and will listen to you when you give them assignments, will complete them and you can then assign more work to be completed. Instead, your child looks at you through her eye brows, smirks, and prepares to tell you how she’s the boss and there will be snacks.
6. Lunch Break. When I was working, I used to enjoy spending some quiet time grabbing a bite to eat, now I’m lucky if I get to eat my own lunch.
5. Delegation. The toilets aren’t going to scrub themselves.
4. Play Dates. Corporate meetings happen in air conditioning with a catered lunch. Moms get to hog the shade at the park and a baggy full of carrots while running around trying to make sure your kid doesn’t do a flying “Super Girl” from the top of the playground.
3. Did I wash my hair today?
2. “Mom, I’m ready for you to wipe me!” is not an experience you can put on your resume.
1. You work for yourself. In the corporate world, you spent your entire day working for someone else’s gain. I am grateful for the experience I have had, but there is nothing that will replace the time I get to spend with my daughter.